RA 9262*

We are scheduled for a "Conference" on December 12 regarding child support. Finally.

Now that I think about it, I want to back out and just get on with my life. I am scared and on my own again. I don't want to lose. I still think if this is the right thing to do.

What's happening this December:

1) I may resign from work because I don't have someone to take care of my child.

2) I might not find some online home-based job to support us both.

3) I may opt to enroll my kid to a kid center which needs P5000/month, plus everyday fare expenses.

Bottom line is I need money. So to do that, I need my ex's financial support on time.

Reference: http://famli.blogspot.com/2006/10/support-for-abandoned-woman-and-family.html#provisionalorders

Nanny Troubles

My son's nanny is going home this December, not for the holiday season but for good. Yep, for GOOD!!! I am so distressed. What am I going to do? I know this is every working mom's horror story. Where can I leave my child when I go to work? Who can I trust to take care of the my child? Well, I am thinking of several options:

1) Take your child to a close relative. 

I can take him to my aunt's place, but that is in Laguna! OMG. I can't bear that I won't get to see him every time I go home. This option is a NO.

2) Kidsiology.

I came upon this center by chance. You can leave your child in this place and pay hourly, daily or monthly rates. The good thing is that the children have activities where they can learn and interact with other children, but it is rather costly. Another downside is I will be waking up my child early in the morning? I am definitely trying it though.

Reference: https://www.facebook.com/kidsiology.childcare.5

3) Find another Nanny.

This is the most practical option except that it's so hard to find a trustworthy nanny nowadays. I get scared for those children abused and neglected by the ones who are supposed to be taking care of them. It's definitely a NO for agencies.

4) Take care of my child myself and work at home.

This last option is my dream. If only work at home jobs are easier to find than office jobs. Getting started with Odesk nowadays.

Torn..

I am torn between cutting you out of my son's life for good and pushing the "money matters" to court.

The fact that you never visit your son during your visiting times sure is a sign that you don't miss him, care for him, worried about him, nothing. None.

You give money, yes, but less than what we have agreed on, signed by you, in front of the barangay chairwoman. According to you, what you give me is more than enough for the child's needs and don't ever include my bills on it.

On the other hand, should I just let you enjoy your life, give what you only want for the child, not thinking of what he needs in the future? I need the money to someday enroll him in a reputable school.

And what about another fact that someday you'll have your own family? What about my son then?

I hate you through and through..

Early Dilemmas as a Single Mom of a Growing Kid

With my son's 2nd birthday coming up, I have been realizing important things that he could have had..

First, he will never grow up with his father.. or any father figure for that matter. My brother is not a father to his own child, and I no longer have a father myself.

Second, I wish he could have siblings to play and/or fight with. I really wanted a big family because our family was sort of small, and sometimes it gets lonely when everybody is busy with his/her own stuff.

I know I will encounter a lot more of these issues while my son is growing up, and I just hope we can get all through this with a smile..

His Family Affairs

I wish I could write an open letter to the father of my child to tell him that never will I go to future family events of his family. Maybe I can, when he dies.. Oh my gosh, that sounded evil.

I heard from him that his grandmother died. Well, actually, he called me (while crying) that the doctors are trying to pump his grandmother  (everyone calls her Nanay) to no avail. Her heart had stopped. And that he just wanted me to know.

Nanay was the only person in his family that I can talk to with ease. I am myself when I'm with her, unlike anyone from his family, I am stiff; I don't really get why. So, of course, I wanted to pay my last respects to her; afterall, death is so final.

So together my son, and my son's nanny, we went to the wake. I let his relatives carry my son, take pictures of him, play with him, etc.. My ex's mother gave us food, but me and my nanny didn't eat them because we just ate dinner. I felt it was kind of rude, but who cares? Then, I noticed my name was not included on the list of the children and grandchildren as if I already died, huh? Good job.

Lesson learned: Never go to any of their family affairs ever again.

I cried just a few moments ago. I hate the situation that I am in. I hate him for bringing me into this awkward relationship that I don't deserve.

Discipline Pros

I have always believed that disciplining a child at an early age will help him to become a better person someday -- a person who will have good judgment and will make better decisions, someone who will be responsible for his acts, and someone who will listen and care for others. Though beating and shouting are normal ways of disciplining a child here in the Philippines (my siblings grew up with both and I think we did fine), I prefer educating the child over and over again.

For example, if he forgot to turn off the lights, I will make him turn it off, or if he forgot to flush the toilet, I will ask him to go to the bathroom and flush it. Over and over, until he remembers to do so.

Sadly, in my case, my cousin and her mom took me for a bully when I did the above method... Well it's hard to discipline a child if she's already 10 years old. But whatever! Even if I don't want to say another, "See, I told you so!" in the future, there's a high chance that I'll be saying it again. There's no difference between loving a child and shaping her to be a better person. But let history repeat itself.

Fatherless Child

I recently read an article and came across the term "fatherless child". My initial reaction was, "What the heck?" Seriously, the article claims that this is an issue not just with the biggest countries of today, but a crisis internationally. Then the page cites the causes -- divorce, children born out of wedlock and the effects -- children with no fathers tend to have psychological problems, will not do so well at school, etc.. 

I have now the following questions:

- Should I be concerned? 
- What do I need to do to prevent my child from going through all these?
- Do I need to act like both parents?

My child is only 21 months old. It is said that reasoning will start when he's three years old. Should I already give him the heads-up that he has no father? A lot of questions. A lot of issues. A lot of problems. This is what I get for wanting a child without the safety of marriage. Well, better be happy alone than unhappy with the wrong person.